Lonely
by rubi of queenscove
Summary: Romance and death are not a good combination. And that's something that Keladry of Mindelan has to learn the hard way.
1. Sweating Sickness

DISCLAIMER: All these characters, places, and things belong to Tamora Pierce. This disclaimer goes for all the chapters in the story.  
  
"Kel, you've barely touched your dinner. What's wrong?" There was concern in Neal's eyes.  
"Oh Neal, I just can't stop thinking about Merric and Cleon. What if something has happened to them? I'd never feel right. I'm stuck here in bed, while they're less than a mile away, fighting for their lives. Those Scanrans can be nasty!" Though she was ill, Kel still had the same old fire down deep inside.  
"Kel," Neal sighed, "Cleon and Merric are seasoned knights. They know what to expect and what to do. So do you and I. In a few days you'll be ready to fight."   
Neal didn't like to lie, but also didn't want to tell Kel she was near death. He, one of the best healers in the land, had not been able to cure her after nearly 3 weeks. Even his father, Duke Baird had tried his hand. Nothing worked. They suspected the Sweating Sickness, but for that there was only one cure. Vervain, a rare herb, was the only thing that could save Kel's life. However, the process of using vervain was tricky. If Neal was successful, both he and Kel would survive. On the other hand, if he messed up, he would take his life and Kel's. However, a lovestruck Neal was willing to take this risk for Kel. His father had set out to get the vervain just this morning. All Neal could do was wait and pray, hoping it would come soon.  
  
  
  
***** 4 days later *****  
  
  
  
Neal sat on the edge of Kel's bed, palms sweating. The vervain was beside him. Kel's condition had worsened over the past few days. She was no longer responsive. Well, he thought, it's now or never. If I don't do this now, Kel will die. Aqua flames gathered in his outstretched palm. He threw them into the fireplace and took a deep breath. Slowly he walked closer to the blaze and knelt. He prayed, and stretched his arms into the fire. Neal bit his lip to keep from screaming. The fire was painfully consuming him, bit by bit. He closed his eyes and...  
  
Neal looked around. He was in a charcoal black tower of some sort. He looked up. A sign bearing the word 'life' hung at the top. His stomach flip-flopped. Neal looked down. He could see Keladry near the stone bottom, where a sign reading 'death' was. Neal himself was floating between life and death. Using the last reserves of his magic, he called to Kel. She began to float upwards, towards life. Neal outstretched his hand, waiting for her. "Kel, Kel," he called. When she had almost reached him, a large black figure came in between them. It was a horrible feeling, being this close to the Black God. Neal shook his head. "You can't have her. Too many people love and care for her. Do you realize what a horrible thing you would be doing by taking her life?" The Black God nodded, as if he understood. He stepped to the side. Neal grabbed Kel's hand and pulled her up and up...  
  
"Neal? NEAL? Snap out of it Neal." Everything Kel tried did not work. Neal had been unconscious for several days. She herself had taken a day to regain strength. Now she was healthy, alive, and well. Duke Baird had told her what Neal did, and she couldn't believe it. Neal had cared about her so much that he risked his own life to save hers. Kel had time to think about this. At first, she had thought that she loved Cleon. But now, she was not so sure. Neal obviously cared about her a great deal. Not even Cleon, at this stage in their life, would do such a great deed. Suddenly, Kel had an idea. She walked over to Neal, knelt down, and gently kissed him. Neal woke up, his eyes wide.   
"Kel? Is that really you?"  
"Of course silly. Who else did you think it was?"  
"Kel, I just had the weirdest dream. Don't laugh. Please."  
"I won't, Neal. Promise." Kel had an idea of what Neal's dream had been.  
Okay, Neal thought, here goes. "I had a dream...that you kissed me."  
"Neal, that wasn't a dream," Kel said. She waited to hear his reaction.  
"It wasn't? But...I...." Neal stuttered. "You don't even love me!" he burst out.  
"Neal," Kel began, "All these years, I've had the wrong idea. I do, Neal, with all my heart."  



	2. Nealan of Queenscove: Dead or Alive?

Neal stood up slowly, using Kel for support. "Really?" He asked, peering into her hazel eyes.  
  
"Really really," said Kel.   
  
"Oh, you silly!" Kel found herself in a tight embrace.   
  
Together, they walked out of the tent. Duke Baird was close by, chowing on his sandwich. He looked surprised when he saw them. He was not expecting Neal to be up walking around so soon. As Baird knew all too well, vervain could take everything out of you. "Neal!" he shouted, "Come here. You too, Keladry."  
  
Neal and Kel walked over. "Hi, dad," he said.  
  
"Hello, Neal. What a surprise! You seem to be recovering nicely." Baird handed each of them a sandwich to eat. "Kel, what EVER did you do to wake him up? You came around quickly, but Neal's been out for almost a week!"  
  
Kel blushed deep crimson. "Oh, nothing," she squeaked out in a small voice. "Just shook him a bit..."  
  
"Dad, when do you think Kel and I can start fighting again? We've been worried sick about our friends."  
  
Duke Baird sat deep in thought. "Well, I wouldn't have any objections to you two going back to the border tomorrow, if you feel up to it."  
  
"I do," said Kel. "What about you, Neal?"  
  
"If Kel goes, I'm going, and that's that." Neal looked determined.   
  
"Go ahead and get ready for tomorrow," Baird said. "You'll leave at dawn."  
  
*****************************************  
  
The next morning, Kel and Neal set off on the short journey to the Scanran border. Along the way they avoided talking about their love for each other, instead chatting about plans and techniques for fighting the Scanrans. Soon, they could see the place where other knights were gathered. Kel and Neal hitched their horses nearby, and walked over. A friendly face greeted them.  
"Merric! Long time no see. How are you doing?" Kel had not seen Merric of Hollyrose in the nearly 2 years that she had been a lady knight.   
  
"I'm doing fine, but a few of the other knights have been killed in combat. Do you know Ansil of Groton?" Merric looked grave.  
  
"Yes, that lousy, ungrateful swine of a knight, he's so full of..." Kel went on until Neal silenced her.  
  
"Kel jousted against Ansil during the great progress, remember? She won too," Neal told Merric.  
  
"Well," began Merric, "Those lousy Scanrans set a herd of spidrens on us. Ansil was one of the ones killed."  
  
Kel sighed. She had had a feeling that Ansil wouldn't last much longer as a knight. Kel decided to change the subject. "How's Cleon doing?"  
  
"Actually, you can ask him for yourself," said Merric. "He's right behind you."  
  
Kel blushed as she turned around. Cleon of Kennan was once her lover, but his marriage had been arranged with an heiress. He had done everything he could to talk his mother out of it, but she would not let Cleon marry Kel. Standing at 6'5, Cleon was even taller than Kel's former knight-master and Commander of the King's Own, Raoul of Goldenlake and Malorie's Peak. His head was filled with unruly red curls, his gray eyes clear and filled with interest.  
  
"Why, hello, apple of my eye," Cleon said. His teenage habits clearly had not been broken. "You are as beautiful as leaves on a tree on a crisp autumn day." Neal looked very distraught over Cleon's choice of words.  
  
"Neal, Kel, how are you doing?" Cleon asked innocently, as if nothing had just happened.  
  
"Well, aside from Kel's bout with the Sweating Sickness, we are doing just fine. I swear, Kel should be a healer. She really has a knack for bringing unconscious people around. " Neal blushed.  
  
Despite her Yamani training, Kel was unable to contain herself. She giggled helplessly.   
"What is so funny?" asked Merric and Cleon.  
  
"Oh..nothing," Kel replied in between giggles.  
  
Merric and Cleon looked unconvinced.   
  
*******************************  
All of a sudden, cries echoed through the camp. "Attack! Attack! Attack!" Kel grabbed her glaive and mounted Peachblossem. Neal mounted his horse beside her. (A/N: does anyone know the name of Neal's horse??) They took off, Merric and Cleon not far behind. The army of Scanrans was close ahead. Kel began the motions of a pattern dance with her glaive. She struck and thrust her weapon at the Scanrans. Within seconds, one man was down. Kel hated killing, but if her own life was in danger she had to do what would save her life. A sudden movement caught her eye. Neal's horse had reared, sending him flying off. Kel jumped from Peachblossem, determined to save her friend. In the meantime, a Scanran had captured Neal and was holding him in a lock. Kel managed to grab Yuki's shukusen from Neal's belt, opened it, and slashed his attacker across the face. The Scanran's arms flew to his wound, allowing Neal to get free. The two friends fled, running to their horses.   
  
"Here, Neal," Kel panted, handing him his shukusen.  
  
"No, that's okay. You can keep it. It brings back memories of Yuki." Neal's old girlfriend, Yukimi, had left Neal to marry Faleron of King's Reach instead.  
  
"Okay. I can add it to my collection." Kel gave Neal a kiss on the cheek.  
  
"KEL! WATCH OUT!" Neal hurled himself in front of her.   
  
Hurriedly, Kel looked around. "What are you doing???" she screamed to Neal.  
  
But, Neal did not respond. He was dead.  
  
  
  



	3. Too good to be true...

A/N: Please please PLEASE stop flaming me for killing off Neal. Sorry, guys. Also, I am not planning to write more if more people don't review! I'm getting much more hits than reviews. Help me become a better writer, and review, please. TY! And now, on with .... Dum dum dum! "Cleon"  
  
  
  
*He took the arrow meant for me* thought Kel. *Oh Neal, why were you so stupid! You gave those Scanrans your life in exchange for me.* But wouldn't you do the same thing for him? asked the little voice in her head. "Of course I would!" Said Kel out loud. Without warning, she burst into tears, pounding her pillow out of sheer emotion. There was a soft knock at the door. Kel wiped her eyes, and put on her best Yamani face. "Who is it?" she called, her voice shaky.  
  
"Cleon," came the reply.   
  
"Come in, it's open," Kel said.  
  
Cleon opened the door, stepped inside, then gently closed it. "I hope the Stump doesn't still have that silly rule about your door being open all the time, becau-"  
  
"I don't know if he does or not, and I really don't care. Sit down."  
  
Cleon walked over and sat down next to Kel on her bed. "Kel, I just wanted to make sure you were all right. You haven't talked to anyone for months after the funeral. We're all really worried about you." Absentmindedly, he picked up a beautiful dark green shukusen lying on the bed. He studied it intently. "Where did you get this?" he inquired. "It's beautiful" Kel glanced over at him to see what he was looking at. Unable to control herself, she shrieked and burst into tears. *Mithros, she's lost it* thought Cleon. *I ask an innocent question, and she totally flips.*  
  
"You don't understand, Cleon," choked out Kel in between sobs. "Neal-" She stopped and took a deep breath. "Neal gave that to me right before he...he...you know...Cleon, you know what I mean, damn it!" She wept uncontrollably now. A sudden rush of understanding flooded over Cleon. *It must be so horrible, to have someone close to you die like that. But you can't lose control like this. I've got to help her.*  
  
"Kel," Cleon began, "Please listen to me. Even if you think this is stupid, I feel that it's my duty as a friend to tell you something." Kel stopped weeping and looked at him, her helpless gaze seemed to go through him.   
  
"Everyone has someone that is a part of them, someone that they're not willing to let go. I like to think of that person as an arm, or a leg maybe. You would not willingly give up your arm, would you?" Kel shook her head. "But, what if that arm was lost in battle? There's nothing that you can do about it. You have to learn to live with that loss, to go on with your life.   
  
"Please think about what I said, Kel. I know that if you can live with your loss, we will all be much happier." With that, Cleon looked around, gave Kel a tight squeeze and walked out of the door.   
  
******************A Year Later*******************  
  
Kel finally learned to cope with Neal's death, with the help of Cleon. But now, life was going to throw another curveball at her. Being a lady Knight was not easy.   
  
  
The war with Scanra was over, though it had cost the realm many great knights. Kel was just finishing up polishing Griffin when Cleon burst through the door, slamming it behind him. "Kel, It's about the heiress..."  
  
Kel looked up at Cleon and set her sword aside. She remembered that Cleon had never liked the heiress that he married, though she had brought great wealth for Kennan. "What's wrong, Cleon?"  
  
"She's dead. The heat took her...it was too much for her, with those skirts on. She got dehydrated, and suffered from heatstroke. They found her dead in her room."  
  
"Cleon...I'm..so sorry," started Kel. She didn't know what to say, having never met the heiress but envying her all the time.   
  
"Don't be," replied Cleon. "You didn't do anything. Don't take this the wrong way, but I'm kind of happy she died. I always hated her, even though I knew I had to marry her for the good of Kennan. Anyways, in her will, all her money passed to Kennan. And now, that she's dead, I can finally do this again." In one swift movement he pulled Kel closer to him and kissed her passionately like old times. Too stunned to do anything else, Kel kissed back. Cleon pulled away. Red faced, he sputtered, "Kel, I'm really sorry."  
  
"It's okay, Cleon. I need someone else in my life." She leaned in for another kiss.   
*****  
Cleon was just returning to his chambers. *Wow* he thought, * I can't believe Kel went along with that! I thought for sure that she'd back away or something* Cleon was so caught up in his thoughts that he didn't notice the ghostly figure behind him. The figure jumped out in front of him and tackled him onto the bed.   
  
"Who are you? What the hell are you doing to me?" he screamed. (I know they don't have a hell, but oh well. It's my fic.)  
  
The figure emitted a dark green light. The light seemed to be magic, as it held Cleon's feet and hands as if they were chained to the bed. Cleon fought against the bonds but was unsuccessful. He relaxed onto the bed, accepting defeat. Though the ghostly man's back was still towards him, something about his hair, the way he held himself...it seemed so familiar! Cleon kept his eyes on the-the *creature*  
  
Slowly the creature turned around. Cleon's eyes grew wide. He stifled a gasp of surprise and horror, and slipped into a dead faint as he realized who it was.  



	4. The green one gets revenge

A/N: Don't read if you mind reading about torture. Well, it's not THAT bad, but still. Fair warning.   
  
  
Cleon of Kennan blinked slowly, his eyes adjusting to the light around him. The horrors of the times before returned slowly. How long had he been out? A long time- a day, maybe? No, more like 20 hours or so. Looking down, he saw that he was still chained to the bed. He let out a gasp when he saw that the figure was standing near him, on one side of the bed. This couldn't be happening. There was no way...  
  
"Neal?" he whispered.   
  
"You know, Cleon," the ghost said, green light still shimmering around him, "I used to think you and I were best friends. The Goddess granted permission for me to return to the mortal realms, for one day. There are so many things that I'd like to do...talk to Kel, my family, meet up with some old friends. But of all the things on my to-do list, killing you had to be at the top." Cleon's gray eyes grew wide.   
  
"But-why?" he said in a whisper.   
  
"Cleon, I thought I knew you. I had no idea that the first thing you would do when I died was to make a move on Kel- "  
  
"I DID NOT!" Cleon exploded with anger. "It's true that I have always loved her. When you and her were lovers, I was always green with envy. When you died, I tried to let her grieve on her own. But she wasn't doing too well. We were all so worried about her. Then, when the heiress died, I thought it might be my chance to be a "better" friend to Kel. Neal, you have to understand: A year had gone by! You have to move on in life. You can't just stand there watching your good friend and object of your affection wither away piece by piece. I was just trying to help her!"  
  
"Hmmm..." said Neal thoughtfully. "Good point. But, no matter. I'm going to kill you anyway. It's time for revenge." He smiled evilly. Cleon let out a bloodcurdling scream. Anyone within palace grounds could have heard that scream. It was just too bad that not a second after he started, Neal put a silencer spell on him. His long fingers reached out, emerald green magic flowing from them like a river. "You like that, Cleon? You want more?" Neal had put another spell on him. It made Cleon feel like he was being compressed into a Chinese-take out box. His face scrunched up in pain, he managed to kick Neal in the leg (Although very lightly-his legs were still chained to the bed.)  
  
"Oooh, fiesty, aren't we?" Neal said with an evil grin. He drew some pointy silver objects out of his pocket and moved closer to the bed. With a wave of his hand, he undid the silencer spell. Cleon, still experiencing horrible pain, managed to choke out some words.   
  
"You don't scare me, bitch," he snarled.   
  
"I don't? Then maybe you would like to hurt a little bit more?"  
  
"NO! Please no!" Cleon choked.   
  
"All right then. Maybe a little break for Mr. Kennan, here." Neal released the painful spell. Cleon let out a sigh of relief. "Time for a little bit of questioning."   
The silvery objects still glittered in his hands. As he moved them closer, Cleon could see that they were needles. He groaned.   
  
"We can do this the easy way, or the hard way. The easy way- I ask you a question, you tell me the truth. Or, you can pick the hard way- I ask you a question, you lie to me, I stick a needle in you, then make you tell the truth anyway with my handy little spell. Got it?" Neal looked at Cleon. His eyes sparkled with anticipation.   
  
Cleon gulped. "Yeah," he choked out.   
  
"Good. Why did you steal my girlfriend?"   
  
"I DID NOT!" screamed Cleon.   
  
"Bad choice. Well, I warned you, Cleon." Neal took one of the extremely sharp needles and jammed it into Cleon's stomach. Cleon let out a wince of pain.   
  
"I-I was telling the truth." He stammered.   
  
"Well, the truth just isn't good enough, is it?" replied Neal. "I'm tired of this silly little game. Let me just kill you now." Neal waved his hand to silence Cleon. He stuck the rest of the needles into Cleon's body quickly, as Cleon's face once again scrunched up. He then used a bit more magic, and an EXTREMELY high pitched sound played, audible only to Cleon. *Hmph* thought Neal. *Good work. He'll be dead in an hour.* With that, he left the room and locked the door, heading off to speak with Kel.   
  
*******  
  
AN: Yes, a person can die from the effects of exposure to extremely high-pitched sound for a long period of time. I know this for a fact. I just love killing off Cleon evil g don't you? Neal is awesome. Next chapter coming soon (I know, I know, thatz what I said the last time, and it took me 2 months...) Review please!!! And email me too if you want!!! :-)  
  



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